A new study from Michigan State University cites that the health of people who never marry has improved, narrowing the gap with their married counterparts. (Up until now, marriage has been encouraged to promote health.) I also came across another study from the University of Cambridge in England and University of Southern California, that for the first time in 25 years men are the happier sex. I find these studies compliment each other in describing the malaise that most women of our generation are feeling.
There are several factors involved in phenomenon of unhappiness, dissatisfaction and anxiety. With so much progress made in the workplace, women know they can conquer any field and be self reliant but what hasn’t changed on average is the child rearing and home equation. Most women are still responsible for most of child raising and Household responsibilities. Not to mention the fact that they have to carry the child and give birth. (This part is always so underestimated).
So in a way we have not gained more but lost (not that I am saying that it should be the way it used to- that is definitely not the solution. In addition to this, most woman are still anxiety ridden about getting married (old school feminists are quite puzzled that this is still part of our culture.) You can blame low self esteem, socialization or media creating anxiety while marketing dating sites and trivializing marriage. They are whipped into such of frenzy of attaining this goal, that they find themselves disappointed and when they are married. Nonetheless women are not as happy as they can be and I think it is because they always put themselves second above everything else.
Good self esteem is directly related on how a woman has been taught to see themselves, their environment and upbringing play a big part, but so does the way they feel about the way they look. Staying fit is not only a visual incentive but also creates peace of mind and discipline. Creating time in your day to devote to giving care to yourself is of primary importance. Worrying about your husband’s comfort or children’s welfare over your own is not productive. You can not give what you don’t have for yourself. You are not an accessory to someone else’s life, this is your time, your place.
With a sound mind and healthy body you can say no, not compromise or lower your standards. If you believe you deserve the best, you will find the best. Stop beating all the dead horses in your lives, if it’s your crazy boss or your unworthy boyfriend. Stand firm and make a decision to be productive, don’t just wait for things to change, People will not change, especially when they don’t get what’s wrong with them. Don’t waste your time. Don’t fall for the hype. Don’t let Tv or marketing drive your motivations.
I am not telling you not to marry or downplaying family, both are very important but in no way should you give yourself up for them. Marriage is not for everyone and you definitely need to be happy alone first. Most women complain about men in their lives for various reasons, they have been socialized differently but they most certainly can evolve. Women are the primary factor of influence if there is to be equality and satisfaction between the sexes.
If woman lower their standards men will never change, if you lift your standards they will catch up. If they don’t catch up, they will not reap the benefits of a relationship. As the with the current state of affairs, if you dump your lying boyfriend, they is another desperate women waiting to swoop in, so that they (men) never have to change. Make fitness and health a big part of your life. Nourish your body and mind and you will feel your best. Schedule workouts, plan your meals and put yourself first for once.
-Fiorella DiCarlo RD, RDN, CDN